January 2004, Our Wedding Day!!!
Walking out of the Oakland Temple
I also haven't given much of a background of myself. So here's a little bit about me...
I am Nikki Nelson. I'm 27 years old, and have been married for almost 7 years (will be 7 years in January). I have two boys, T1 is almost 5 year old, and T2 just turned 3 year old.
I have lived in CA since my husband and I got engaged in Oct. '03. We married in the Oakland Temple. My hubby grew up in Northern CA, I grew up in Salt Lake County, UT. I have known my husband since I was 13 years old, however I didn't like him at that time. It wasn't until he returned from his mission, and he met up with my brother (they were best friends their senior year of high school in CA), that we started hanging out.
I am a stay-at-home mom, and I love it for the most part. I love that I get to raise my kids, and not let someone else have that blessing. However, as much as I love it, it's definitely not an easy thing to do. I have found through the years that I have lost my identity. I check in with myself sometimes, and wonder 'Who am I?' 'Do I even know who I am anymore?' I have changed over the years of marriage/ motherhood. A good part of that change is for the best (in my opinion. Hubby might have a different opinion. Haha!).
I loved CA until I became a mother, and as much as I always thought I'd never want to move back to UT, after becoming a mother, I have realized that living close to family really doesn't sound like a bad idea, and it really would be nice. I've been yearning to move back to UT for about 5 years, and have desperately been wanting to move back for the past 3 years. I completely dislike CA.
Confession: (not so much for your sympathies, but just to be open and honest.) Having such feelings as being alone, because I only have 'loose' friends around here and really no family, and not having much of a social life has left me feeling pretty depressed over the past few years. Which has lead to me:
1- gaining weight, nothing I've ever had to battle with before having kids,
2- loosing my discipline for food, which has been surprisingly hard to regain that discipline with food/ diet.
3- not being as friendly and social as I use to be (which is a change that hasn't been for the best, and I really don't like about myself...well, none of these three changes have been for the best for myself or my family, really.)
So I guess that's more than just a little bit of info about myself. Hahaha! Sorry.
As I mentioned before, since the beginning of the year I have lost 18 lbs, and I'm hoping to loose another 15-20 lbs, and also regain my discipline for food. It's not that I eat junk all day, but I need to get my portion size back under control, and loose a quite a bit of this sweet tooth I've got. I eat somewhat healthy, but also snack on unhealthy things way too frequently also. So again, thanks to Sarah for getting this challenge started, to try and help me get re-motivated to loosing the rest of this weight.
My report for today... -Day 6- I didn't do any exercise. Nada. I decided to sleep in today, since it was the only day this week I'd be able to. Then I slept in way too late to get a workout in. I was going to try and get one in this evening, but I don't have the motivation to do it, and I'm still feeling sore enough to rationalize to myself that I can take a couple days off.
I'll catch up with y'all on Monday.
8 comments:
Loved hearing more about you and your family. I'm sorry to hear you are lonely. I lived away from family for a lot of years, so I know how hard that can be. If you moved back to Salt Lake, we could get to know each other better and hang out once in awhile!
I'm right there with you on eating healthy and unhealthy at the same time. Is really a bad hurdle to get over, which is why I'm not over it yet!
Enjoy your nice, deserved, rest over the weekend!
I actually think it would be fun to put our cities when we update--it DOES put a person to a post right away, and I love that!
It IS fun to hear about your family and YOU! You sound like someone I would LOVE to hang out with, because I can totally relate to many of your feelings and why you are where you're at.
Way to take the weekend off. Sometimes, we all need that! :)
p.s. LOVE your shoes!
Okay, so I have to admit, the reason that I started putting the city in was so that I could find my own posts more easily and thus keep track of where I was at more easily. So, while it helps everyone know who is posting, I'm afraid that my motives were rather selfish :)
I know what you mean about not being very social. Growing up on an AFB, people just kind of came and went for me. I've only managed to work past that in the last couple of years. Being heavily involved in Cub Scouts helped out a LOT with that!
Kathy- Thanks for understanding what I mean about being lonely.
I also know that it's partly my fault. I was pregnant when I started getting to know people around here, and I was so sick and grumpy during that pregnancy... so that got to be my first impression for everyone. Guess it kind of stuck, even though that's not who I usually am. lol!
Rachel- Funny, cuz when I read your posts I also think, "she'd be fun to get to know." I'd like to get to know all of you on here, but I think you and I would hit it off pretty good. Hahaha!
Thanks for the compliment on my shoes, I haven't ever gotten as many compliments on all the rest of my shoes combines, as I have with those white ones. I LOVE them too!
Castila- as selfish as your motives may have been, it really has helped me probably as much as it's helped you. Ha! So Thanks!
Honestly, I use to be a very social person. Seriously. I still am pretty social, but it's become so much harder for me. It's just harder to run the families life for them all, and keep in touch with friends, esp since I don't get to see them every day.
I always remember hearing my SIL saying, "when you have kids, your friends are your kids friends parents. It's just not the same." I always wondered 'well, why does it have to be that way?' I SO GET IT NOW! My oldest son isn't a social butterfly as I was. He's a timid little guy, and chooses when he wants to be social (completely gets that from his dad, who is NOT social).
I'm glad that I've still got time to try and figure out the social life as a parent. Ha! Also glad to know that it's possible. Thanks!
Oh Nikki! I totally hear you. I regret not getting to know you better when we lived in your ward because you are such an awesome person. The whole 2 years we lived in CS1 I felt the way you do. I had acquaintances but that was it. I was SO lonely...more than I ever have been. I gained about 15 pounds in 18 months and felt terrible. When we moved to CS2 I was finally able to make friends here...I guess I feel like there are people here who I can relate with...I don't know how to describe it. There are lots of nice people in CS1 but I guess I just felt like I was never on the same level as them...they were all pretty and skinny and rich and I just didn't fit in. When I moved here I instantly connected with a handful of people and for the first time in my life I have close friends. I think you should move to our ward. :)
Anyway,I wish we lived closer...not that we're THAT far...but ya know. We should definitely get together more often though!
Hope you enjoyed your weekend off!
Sarah!
I totally understand what you're talking about with CS1. I don't wanna bash on my own ward or anything, but I realize that even after T2 was born, and when I started feeling more social, whenever I tried to make plans with anyone, I have ALWAYS been turned down. I also feel so bad when I read their blogs and see that they're all on outings, and nobody thought to invite my kids, that are the same age!? I feel SO LEFT OUT!... inadequate is a good word for it too, and not being on the same level, that's a good one too.
I have NEVER belonged to a "click". Never wanted to be labeled as one either. I feel like the majority of the people that I'd be good friends with here in the CS1, are in their own loose "click"... if you know what I mean.
We should plan more things together. That would be fun. We'll have to work around school times, but I think we can manage that!
Sarah,
Okay, I need to make a clarification/ correction... you and Crystal are the only one's that have ever taken me up on an offer to hang out... and we didn't even really hang, we just did a Jillian workout together. But I was happy that you took me up on the offer... so thank you, Sarah.
I know what you mean...not to drag this out....but really....totally hear you on the blog thing...I always felt SO stupid when I'd see that they all got together, or I'd go to park day and they would all stand there talking about all the things they did/were going to do together.
The loneliness was one of the huge motivators for us to move...there were other reasons too, but this was definitely a factor.
Moving to CS2 has been such a night and day difference from that ward. One that I really needed.
So yes, let's get together some time. Afternoons are good for us...my kids don't nap anymore. Did you get my email about the Habitot Children's Museum? Your boys would LOVE it and we could carpool there.
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